he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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