That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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