you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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