it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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