I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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