i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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