i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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