i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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