I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
