dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
