My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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