Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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