part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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