i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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