you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
