I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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