i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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