I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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