I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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