i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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