My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
