I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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