you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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