I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
