Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
