her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
