You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I can't turn off my feet"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
