I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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