Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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