I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
