Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
