I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
