i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
COCAINE IS GR8
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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