Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
