U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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