i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
