3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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