im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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