I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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