I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
