Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
