I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
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Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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