Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
