Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
