covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
