we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She's the barista slut.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
