Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
