Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
