I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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