I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
