I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
