i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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