I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
