Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
