i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
