I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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