dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
