So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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