i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize